You may have noticed that things were quiet last week. I didn’t utter a peep. Why, you ask? Why were my lips so stolidly sealed? Why were my eyes dead, and emotions low? Well, darlings, it’s because I bought a mirror.
You’re confused, aren’t you?
Bernhardt Furniture, a company known for glamorous furnishings, high quality products, and marketing that will blow you away, seduced me several months ago with an imagined life of fur throws and evening gowns and cocktail party primping….
** both via Bernhardt **
Then a media spread for the Salon collection was released.
** Bernhardt Salon Collection **
I knew that the desk was in my future, serving a dual purpose as a workspace and a vanity. It’s dimensions worked nicely in the nook in my new bedroom, and I chose a circle-backed dining arm chair to perch on. Coupled with tall cherry blossoms, my desk calendar and clock, and a fabby, squat lamp, it’s served it purpose well… However, I’ve been continually haunted by that massive wall of mirror in the media photo.
Keep in mind, please, that we have downsized DRASTICALLY. In the old home, with 12′ ceilings, stairwells that were 5-6′ wide, and rooms that were not unusually 25′ by 18′, I never really had to worry about whether or not a piece of furniture- let alone an accessory- would fit into a space. Here? Well….
I measured 72 different ways. Every angle was explored before spending (blank) dollars on this massive 70″ by 74″ mirror. It arrived, packaged beautifully, delivered by a moving company, early last week. The box, I was told beforehand, was a lot larger than the mirror, so I had no need to worry when I saw it. The box, when delivered, terrified me. Large, it was. Larger than the mirror, true, but not by much. For reference:
** I have an impressive wingspan, I know. **
Once out of the box, I was elated to find that the mirror was just as gorgeous as it appeared in the photos! Brushed gold frame, flawless and bright mirror… This thing is stunning! It’s also however, too big to fit up the stairwell.
** a very expensive version of square peg, round hole **
We have options. We can completely remove a bedroom window and find someone with a crane to lift the damn thing into the window sideways, like that scene in Ghost where Patrick Swayze heaves that creepy angel statue into the new loft. Or, we could put the thing on eBay, and hope that someone will pay me at least half what I paid (a number I’ll never reveal to anyone, the boyfriend included). Or- and this is the most likely option- yours truly will study trim carpentry for a bit, remove part of the stairwell railing, hoist mirror into the second floor landing with the help of several of B’s athletes (whom will be bribed with baked goods), maneuver mirror into its new and permanent home, then reattach the stairwell railing as if nothing happened.
For now, our 6-foot tall and wide mirror is spending it’s days grumpily propped up against our dining room wall, reflecting the dogs’ antics and freaking them out- something annoying to them, but hilarious to us. I’m counting the days until I can figure a way to place this sucker upstairs. Wish me luck.
